B-Movie Maniacs
Well... It's about that time again. Movie Maniacs Five will be in the stores any time now, if they are not their already, soon, wish lists will start popping up all over the place, and we will all start thinking up our lists for next year. Hannible's and New Nightmare Freddy's, Robocop's and Dog Aliens. These are among the many that will probably top everyone's wish list.
BUT What about the bottom of the list? What about those figures that we secretly want but are afraid to tell anyone about. What about figures from some movies that really blew...
And from that... Is where this list sprang. B-Movie Maniacs. Come on, as much as you like some of the movies on this list, you have to admit, they are not A list movies. Theirs some pretty bad movies here, but hell, they'd still make some pretty fun figures.
So here you go... We've seen the top of the barrel, now lets scrape the bottom.
Besides.... By Movie Maniacs 13 these guys are going to be all that's left.... he he he....
Dr. Giggles from er.. Dr. Giggles : Okay. Dr. Giggles will never be in Movie Maniacs. The Movie stunk... Bad. Really, really bad. But does that mean he doesn't deserve to be cast in plastic as much as say, Freddy Kruger or Jason Voorhees? Um. Probably. Yes, i can say that in no way does Dr. Giggles deserve to be in the Movie Maniac Line. That being said, i still can't help but think how cool he'd look sitting on my shelf, holding up that scapel with a doctors bad next to him. He'd come with a motion activated sound chip so every time you walked by him you'd hear that signature giggle that made Larry Drake so creepy in this role.
Sam Harper from Uncle Sam: The film Uncle Sam, written by schlock giant Larry Cohen and directed by William Lustig, should not be viewed by anyone. Ever. It's frightneing how bad this movie reall is. No, i'm serious. It's an aweful, aweful movie. But in this time of unbridled patriotism, who better then to be the flag bearer for this age, then that ultimate patriot himslef, Uncle Sam. Lets show them terrorists we mean buisness and fill all our shelfs with the flag waver from hell!! He'd come with interchangable legs. Normal ones, and then the second set of legs would be stilts so that we could recreate the scene from the flick. He would also come with an american flag to hold high above...
Killer Jack Frost from the film with the same name, Jack Frost Okay, as much as i love these films, even i have to admit it's hard to get more B then Jack Frost, and it's sequel, Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman. The movies are bad, and the figure would be to, but hell, i'd buy it. It would just be a simple lump of white plastic. It would have two heads, one nice snowman head, and one evil snowman head. It would come with a removable carrot that could be reattached elsewhere if you get my drift... Plus various a few bottles of antifreeze so you could subdue the little devil if he begins to act up.
The Leprechaun, again, from the movie with the same name, Leprechaun : WHERE'S ME POT OF GOLD?! Huh???? WHERE'S ME POT OF GOLD?! What more can i say, he's little, he's green, and he's Warwick Davis. Literally, adding this movie is a no brainer. I know alot of people want to see this one in the main line, but come on. He's a Leprechaun!!! AND HE KILLS PEOPLE!!! The Lepster has B movie oozeing from his pours when he sleeps at night. He'd come with his gold, and the wishing well that held him captive.
A Crite, from the movie Critters or From Critters 2 or From Critters 3 or Heck, even From Critters 4, CRITTERS IN SPACE!!!! I love these little guys. Here's a quote from my local television guide. This is an actual movie description that appeared in the back of the Chronicle Telegram TV guide. "Aliens Land on Earth, and eat a cow." Yuppers... You gotta love a movie with a description like that. Thank god the movie held up to that stunning summation. Billy Zane, Dee Wallace Stone, Heck, even Leo DiCaprio!!! These are just a few of the stars that have come across the big, furry fun loving Crites and fallen. It would be one big crite, fromt he end of the movie when they all form up, plus it would come with a bunch of little crites in ball form to sit around it.
The Mutant Baby from It's Alive For those of you unfamiliar with these movies... The Davies expecting a baby which turns out to be a monster with the nasty habit to kill when it's scared.And it's easily scared... Blood, carnage, babies who eat human flesh. This flick has it all. One of Joe Bob Brigg's favorite movies!!! Again, B movie Master Larry Cohen is on the list. This time he wrote and DIRECTED this gem of a movie. The figure would come in it's crib and would be removable.
Clint Howard from The Ice Cream Man!!! Okay, first off what B movie line would be complete without Clint Howard!!! The Dentist Two, Leprechaun 2, Silent Night Deadly Night 4 and 5, Evilspeak, and Barb Wire. This mans B movie credits have no boundries.... The Ice Cream man is a movie about a murderous Ice Cream Man... God just look at the poster, doesn't that say enough about why he deserves to be in this line?????
BOXED SET
Puppet Master Vs. Demonic Toys: Okay, so i haven't yet seen the moive. It could really suck bad, and i could end up with egg all over my face... BUT, isn't that completly in the spirit of the line??? Huh?? Huh?? Well??? Isn't it??? I'll take it from your silence that you agree with me completly and would like to give me presents. Anyway, so we already have a series of Puppet Master figures put together by none other then Full Moon Toys themselves. And those figures rock. They are great figures, a little on the flimsy side for my tastes, but still great figures. But just imagine who cool a McFarlene update of the main Puppets would be. Blade, Pinhead, Jester, Tunnler, and Leach Women all done by Toddy and the boys. Throw into the mix the dreaded Demonic Toys for them to face off against and you have one hell of a rocking box set.
Killer Klowns From Outer Space: Okay, i'm includeing this one here, because as great as this movie is, and as much as i'd friggen love these figs, this two, is a b movie. I know... I know... But face it. It is. This Box set, would consist of Five of the most memorable Klowns in the movie. Okay, probably three. Five is expecting a little much. BUT IT'S MY WORKSHOP AND I WANT FIVE!!! YOU CAN HAVE THREE IN YOUR OWN WORKSHOP DANGIT!!! Okay, anyway, that's pretty much all the set would be, the spikey haird Klown, the short klown, The Fat Klown, and two other equally as memomarble Klowns. If McFarlene was smart, this set would be put out, soon.
18 Inch Figure
Head Of The Family: Mess With The Head, AND YOUR DEAD!!!! Dude... That says it all right their. Okay, so it's an aweful movie, but kind of a fun one, but just imagine how cool that thing would look sitting on your desk next to you. To get even cooler, instal an engine in that thing, and turn it into a remote control car. How fricken cool would that be... Okay, so i'd be the only one to buy one, and it would be one heck of an expensive figure, but just imagine.... The movie itself is about a small family of misfits and freaks who live in flordia, and all around mess up life for those around them. It was written and directed by Full Moon head honcho, Charles Band. Pick it up sometime if your in the mood for a fun little flick. but remember, MESS WITH THE HEAD, AND YOUR DEAD!!!!!